i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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