when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
