Your tits are I can't wait for
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
