Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
