He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My dick has a subreddit
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
