I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Randomize
