Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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