evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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