before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
