I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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