and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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