ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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