Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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