I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
