How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
