Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
