my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
