i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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