Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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