I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
