Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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