i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
