id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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