just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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