She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
