We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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