Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
