Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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