im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
