I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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