How's work?
Spinning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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