with your own penis?
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
