i think my mom watched the whole time
they need to just BURY HIM!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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