I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
