Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
