I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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