My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
