i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
