On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
