Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
