Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
