dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
