Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
