We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
