She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
