I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
