I think I won the penis lottery.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize