oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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