So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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