I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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