so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you never un-have a 4some
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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