Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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