Her vagina should come with caution tape.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
