you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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