That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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