I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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