u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
