when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize