one might say we're banned from that church
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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