he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
